I Wrote A Letter of Gratitude Every Week in 2021— Here’s What Happened

Every January since 2014, I’ve drafted a slate of new year resolutions to make progress towards my health, well-being, and knowledge. [In the last seven years, I’ve found that making progress towards goals outside of work has a positive halo effect on making progress at work (and vice-versa.)]

And for me, the onset of the COVID-19 global pandemic in 2020 made clear two (2) things:

1. I am homesick.
2. I took for granted the privilege and luxury of flying back to my hometown of Detroit, Michigan to see close friends and family whenever I wanted.

Therefore, at the start of 2021, I made a new resolution: write a letter (not an email or a text — a real letter with a stamp and everything) once a week to the people that have helped me become the person I am today.

The 3-Step Process

Every Sunday morning after the routine cup of coffee, Meet the Press, and another episode of Property Brothers, I took out a notecard, wrote down the date in the right hand corner, wrote the person’s name, and sat quietly for about five to ten minutes thinking about them and how they helped me become a better person. (With only a 3" x 5" space to write, I had to make it count.)

Then, I started writing my thoughts, focusing specifically for what I was thankful and grateful. I would attempt to jot down the most important thing that they did for me and/or what they do for others (based what I’ve witnessed up close or from afar via social media), and more importantly, how they influenced me, personally or professionally.

Finally, I would seal the envelope, address it, throw a Forever Stamp on it, and walk downstairs to slip it in the mailbox, and then enjoy the rest of the Sunday.

Rinse. Repeat. 52 weeks. Complete.

Just a few photos of the people that helped me along the way.

The Outcome

For starters, I had low expectations:

• I didn’t expect to hear back from anyone (I promise you that this wasn’t a “give-to-get” situation.)
• While unfortunate, I didn’t have much confidence in the letter actually reaching its final destination (thankfully, only one letter was labeled “return-to-sender.”)
• When I my put my first letter in the mail, I thought, “Cool. That’s the first one. We’ll see if I can keep this up.”

After that first letter, I literally asked myself “Do you really have another fifty-one people in your life to whom you can actually write?” and sure enough, week after week, I found someone noteworthy: a best friend, great friends, new friends, former colleagues, a current colleague turned advisor, former managers, friends turned clients, my parents, de facto parents, parents in-law, mentors, college professors, the friends who taught me how to dance, my hip-hop dance instructor, hockey line-mates, college roommates, fraternity brothers, friends found through others, silent stakeholders, advice givers, my loving partner.

I’ll admit: some Sundays were harder than others.

• Some Sundays, I had low energy from the previous week’s stresses.
• Some Sundays, I was in transit to or from a destination (or somewhere in between).
• And on some Sundays, I literally felt like I had nothing good enough to write.

However, through the process, I reconnected with people I hadn’t spoke with in years.

Through the process, reciprocity kicked in when I heard back from most everyone — with even more words of encouragement, more words of gratefulness, and more words of gratitude.

And then, something awesome and unexpected started to happen each week I placed a new note in the mail: I started to feel a sense of responsibility and obligation to that person to continue building on what they gave me.

I began to carry myself with more purpose each week.

I started to feel a willingness and desire to live up to higher expectations because someone else invested their time on me.

And while not the primary goal: my homesickness began to fade away each week. I realized that while I wasn’t physically home, I always had a piece of home with me.

“We are the sum total of our experiences. Those experiences — be they positive or negative — make us the person we are, at any given point in our lives. And, like a flowing river, those same experiences, and those yet to come, continue to influence and reshape the person we are, and the person we become. None of us are the same as we were yesterday, nor will be tomorrow.” — BJ Neblett

The Next Steps

In 2022, I’ll continue this resolution — there are more people out there with whom I want to connect and reconnect (so keep an eye out on your mailbox.)

You get what you put in life. The world needs more gratefulness and gratitude, more kindness, more heart, and more togetherness as we work towards an even better future.

In 2022, I challenge you to adopt this resolution. Why wait until it’s too late to tell someone how you feel and more importantly, how they’ve helped you become who you are today?

Let’s make it a great year.

KL

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