Two weeks ago, my wife told me that I am a “pretty memorable person.”
While I know she is incredibly biased, it got me thinking — what makes someone memorable?
Is it what someone says, or how they say it?
Is it simply about being genuine and authentic? What about the energy and enthusiasm you bring to the conversation?
Is it in the follow up that occurs after the introduction or encounter?
My LinkedIn says I have over 1,500 connections — how did I make those connections — was it simply because we had worked together in some capacity, and because they are real and meaningful?
Then I had a realization — it takes work to network.
Building new and maintaining old relationships isn’t something one just happens to do — it takes effort, in addition to all the elements that we humans have to give each other: time, thoughtfulness, and talent.
- Time: scheduled and unscheduled conversations, whether that’s a text, email, or yes, even an old-fashioned phone call. When something reminds me of someone, I immediately message them (without hesitation), and it almost always results in a “ 😂” and/or a longer, unstructured chat.
- Thoughtfulness: willing to do something for someone else without the need for really anything in return (lending your truck to help someone move-out/move-in, for example); maybe sending the occasional gift (birthdays, anniversaries, promotions, “firsts,” or something else worth celebrating — and yes, I celebrate everything) to let someone know that you are thinking of them.
- Talent: input or advice on a particular challenge or obstacle someone is facing, a skill (natural or otherwise) that you’ve perfected by experience (aka trial and error) that others value
Looking back at 2020, void of all the in-person touch points that can help relationships form and grow deeper (ie. birthdays, anniversaries, promotions), it has taken a supremely conscious effort to stay in touch with the people I truly value in my life (personal and professional). I forecast that 2021 will be more of the same.
If you’re reading this because you want to get better at networking this year, some advice below since you’re here 😁
- My best friend says “You make the time for the people you want to make time for.” How can you make the best use of your free time and get in touch? Some ideas to get you started: schedule time to say hi to a former colleague, write a thank you note to someone for just being a good friend or mentor, get advice from someone you trust on a challenge you are facing (humans are hardwired to help others!)
- If you’re networking up the corporate ladder, many can “sniff out” when someone is trying to get a job, or if someone is genuinely interested in building a relationship. What value (time, thoughtfulness, or talent) can you add to someone’s day, month, year, or career? An idea to get you started: if you see a post about a hobby or something you are interested in, reach out to the author, reference the post, and ask for their additional thoughts or provide thoughts to help them in their day-to-day.
- And please, if you are using LinkedIn to meet new people, don’t send a blind request to get “LinkedIn.” Regardless of mutual connections you may have, take the 30 seconds to write a brief note stating what your intention is and your reason to connect. (Extra points: actually reach out to a mutual connection and ask for the proper introduction via email.)
The best time to meet people is when you don’t need anything at all.
Let’s get to work!
